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Okay, real talk—massage with a sexy twist ain’t new. Heard this story once, ancient Rome, gladiators gettin’ oiled up, happy endings on the down-low. Sneaky buggers! Makes me laugh, picturin’ some toga guy all “Oh yeah, rub there!” D’oh! Bet they didn’t tell the emperor that one. Little known fact—Tantra stuff, from India, mixes spiritual crap with sexual-massage. Blew my mind! I was like, “Marge, we gotta try—nah, nevermind, too weird.”

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First off, I hit up Jl. Raya Sumberpucung. Traffic was a mess! Like, c’mon people, it’s not a race! I’m sittin’ there, just tryin’ to get to the lumber yard. My truck’s old, like, ancient. It’s got more rust than metal. But hey, it’s mine. I love that ol’ beast.

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