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Oh, and the typos—bloody hell, autocorrect’s a wench! Swear I typed “hey cutie,” came out “hey cuttle”—fishy flirtin’, aye? Sex-dating’s a mess, a joy, a jest—thou takest the plunge, or thou’rt left wonderin’. “The truth is out there,” like in *Zodiac*, but here it’s sweaty, sloppy truth! What say thee, mate? Jump in or nah?

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So, I’m outta bed, chugging my kopi tubruk, and thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. First, I head to my workshop on Jalan Gembong. I’m all set to craft this fancy stove for a customer. But guess what? My tools are missing! Like, poof! Gone! I’m searching everywhere, even under my cat, Si Kucing. That little furball just looked at me like, “Dude, you really think I’d hide your stuff?”

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