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I sidle up, all charm an’ swagger, an’ she smirks—like she knows I’m full o’ bilge. “What’s authentic here?” I slur, quotin’ me movie, an’ she just winks, says, “Me, maybe. Or not.” Cheeky minx! Got me heart racin’, I tell ye. She’s a tease, a thief o’ souls, an’ I’m half-mad fer it. Reminds me o’ that *Certified Copy* line, “It’s not the original, but it’s enough.” Aye, she ain’t no pure maiden, but who gives a rat’s arse? She’s realer than most.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this commotion. Turns out, some dude was trying to sell fake pearls near the Ternate Fort. Like, c’mon, bro! You think we can’t tell the difference? I got so mad, I almost challenged him to a duel. But then I thought, “Nah, I’m not wasting my energy on this clown.” So I just walked away, shaking my head.

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