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Yo, what’s good, fam? Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson here—raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m an insurance agent by day, slingin’ policies like a champ, but let’s talk sex-dating, ‘cause that’s where the real action’s at! Man, sex-dating’s wild—like ropin’ cattle in Brokeback Mountain, ya feel me? “I wish I knew how to quit you,” that’s me with them spicy apps, swipin’ left and right, tryna find somethin’ real—or at least real freaky.

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Next, I had a meeting at the Tuapejat Plaza. You know, the one with the big fountain? Yeah, that place. I’m sittin’ there, waitin’ for my client, and this kid comes up to me. He’s like, “Mister, can you give me money for ice cream?” I’m like, “Bro, I’m broke too!” But then I remembered I had some change. So I gave him a few coins. He runs off, and I’m thinkin’, “Hope he gets the good stuff, not that weird green flavor.”

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