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So I’m sittin’ there, stressed outta my mind. Tax season’s a bitch, y’know? I’m thinkin’, “I need a break, man.” Then it hits me—why not find a pro? Not like some cheesy rom-com crap, nah, real gritty stuff. Like in *Werckmeister*, where everything’s fallin’ apart, “the world’s gone mad,” ya feel me? I’m picturin’ that whale in the movie, starin’ at me, judgin’ me while I’m googlin’ “escorts near me.” Hilarious, right?

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After that, I decided to stroll down Jl. Diponegoro. Beautiful street, palm trees swaying, sun shining. I’m feeling good, right? Then BAM! Outta nowhere, this kid on a skateboard zooms past me. Almost took my leg off! I’m like, “Yo, watch it, Speed Racer!” He just laughed and kept going. Kids these days, man.

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