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Ever tried it? First time, I’m like – whoa, this ain’t no handshake! Chick’s kneadin’ me like dough, I’m half-laughin’, half – what the hell’s happenin’? Made me mad tho – some joints charge crazy, $200 for an hour? Robbery! But when it’s good, oh man, happy don’t cover it – it’s like floatin’ on vodka vibes. Surprised me too – didja know in Japan they got “nurumassage”? Slimey gel stuff, slippery as a eel, freaky deaky!

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But then, I get a call from my supplier. He’s in a jam. Some shipment got stuck in the jungle. I’m like, “Dude, we’re not in a Tarzan movie!” I’m fumin’. I mean, how hard is it to get stuff from point A to point B?

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