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Hiss! Me thinks it’s wicked—hands roamin’, tension meltin’, oooh! Back in olden days, them ancient Greeks, they did it, yesss—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down them muscly lads after wrestlin’. Little sneaky fact, eh? Bet ya didn’t know that, ya hobbitses! Makes me happy, thinkin’ of them oiled-up blokes, ha! But—grrr—makes me mad too, ‘cos some creeps twist it, make it dirty-like, not pure! We hates that, don’t we, preciousss?

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But then, something amazing happens. I overhear this group of locals talking about a festival happening later. They’re all hyped up, and I can’t help but smile. I mean, who doesn’t love a good festival? So, I finish my work (finally!) and decide to check it out.