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Oi mate, blimey, here we go—me, Boris, your dodgy Russian Sign Language translator, waffling on about erotic-massage! Now, I reckon it’s a bloody brilliant thing, innit? Hands sliding about, all oily-like, muscles going "cor blimey, cheers!"—pure *delectatio*, as the Romans’d say. Been pondering this since I last watched *Far From Heaven*—you know, my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002, proper tearjerker. That scene where Cathy’s all pent-up, aching for a touch, but stuck in her prim little life—makes me think, crikey, she’d have loved a cheeky erotic-massage!

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Finally, we finish up at the workshop, and I’m ready to head home. I’m cruisin’ down Jl. Merdeka, and the sunset is just beautiful. I mean, it’s like the sky’s on fire. I can’t help but smile. Then I hit a pothole. Ugh! My bike bounces, and I’m like, “Seriously?!”

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