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But chile, don’t get it twisted—findin’ a prostitute ain’t my Saturday night plan. I’m just sayin’, if you gonna do it, know the game! Watch yo’ back like Leo dodgin’ the feds. “Don’t you dare pick up that phone!”—that’s me yellin’ at you if you dumb enough to get scammed. Some of ‘em slicker than a greased pig, takin’ yo’ money and poof—gone! I’d be hot as fish grease, swear on my mama’s grave.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I woke up in my tiny apartment on Jalan Raya Manismata, right? The sun was blaring through my window like it was auditioning for a role in a bad soap opera. I was like, “Ugh, not today!” But ya know, life doesn’t care about your plans.