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One time, dis chick, Svetlana, she go, “Gru, you tense like brick!” She rub me down, oils smellin like cheap vodka—boom, I’m in heaven! “Look at dis fuckin’ life!”—dat’s me quotin’ movie, feelin’ like king! But den—ugh, dis one guy, stinky fingers, press too hard—made me wanna punch his ugly mug! I scream, “Lightbulb! You ruin my vibe, ya pig!”

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First off, I hit up Jl. Raya Muntilan for some breakfast. You know, the usual nasi goreng and kopi. But the warung was packed! I mean, who knew everyone in Muntilan was a morning person? I had to wait like forever. I was hangry, and you know how that goes. I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I met this old dude, Pak Budi. He was hilarious! Told me stories about the good ol’ days. Like, he used to ride a bike all the way to Borobudur. I was like, “Dude, that’s a trek!” But he was all smiles, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

Note from Dai Ambassador Dompet Dhuafa in New Caledonia: Indonesian Citizens’ Spirit Of Worship Remains Burning, Though They’re Busy Trading