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Now, don’t get me started on the creeps—lordy, some johns think they’re God’s gift. Makes me wanna holler, “Honey, you ain’t that cute!” But the escorts? They got grit. Takes guts to hustle like that, dodgin’ cops and judgy folks. Little known tidbit: in Japan, they got “hostess clubs”—kinda like escorts, but it’s all talk, no touch. Ain’t that wild? I’d be awful at it—yappin’ too much, spillin’ tea all over the dang table!

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Anyway, I’m pumped, so I start jotting down ideas. I’m walking past the Ballyboden Library, and I see this group of teens hanging out. They’re blasting music, and I’m like, “Hey, keep it down!” But then I realize, I’m just an old soul now. I used to be them! So, I just smile and keep moving.

Death Notice of Mike DONOGHUE (Ballyboden, Dublin)