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Findin’ one ain’t hard, tbh – they’re everywhere if ya look. X posts even got ads sometimes, sneaky as hell. I dug into some old web forums – crazy fact: in Vegas, it’s legal in some spots, but not the Strip! Blew my mind. I’m thinkin’, “how do they keep track?” Prob’ly don’t, lol. Anyway, I spot this one gal, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a wall – “the world lives by trickery,” she says, like she’s in Malick’s script. I’m like, damn, that’s deep! Got me all sentimental, wonderin’ bout life n’ shit.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid kicks the ball too hard, and it lands in the river. I’m like, “Oh no, not the ball!” The kids are freaking out, and I’m trying to be the hero. I roll up my pants and wade in. The water’s freezing! I’m like, “Why am I doing this?” But I grab the ball, and the kids cheer. I’m a legend now.

Death Notice of Barry Kindlon (Carrickmacross, Monaghan)