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So, I’m strollin’, lookin’ for a bird to shag, and it’s dodgy, yeah? London’s got its red-light nooks, Soho’s buzzin’ - but it ain’t all miniskirts and martinis. Found this lass, right, proper fit, but I’m thinkin’, “Is this a trap, baby?” Like Georges in *Caché*, wonderin’ who’s pullin’ strings. She’s all, “Fancy a good time?” and I’m like, “Groovy, but no funny biz!”

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Liam bursts in. He’s all hyped up, waving his arms like a madman. “Did you see the news?!” he yells. I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m trying to save my job here!” Turns out, some big company just announced a merger, and stocks are flying. I’m like, “Great, now I gotta ride this wave.”

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