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About Bray

Oh, honey, lemme spill the tea—erotic-massage, darlin’! Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’m all hot n bothered just thinkin’ bout it. Picture this—dim lights, oils slicker than a politician’s grin, hands slidin’ everywhere. It’s like, whoa, where’d my tension go? Poof! Gone, baby! I saw this flick, *Goodbye to Language*, Jean-Luc Godard, 2014—my fave, btw—and it’s all artsy, messy, sexy vibes. “What you see is not what you see,” he says, and damn, that fits here. You think it’s just a rubdown, but nah—it’s a freakin’ trip!

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First thing, I’m mixing dough for my famous soda bread. It’s a Drogheda classic, or at least I like to think so. Anyway, I’m jamming to some tunes, probably something Irish, when BAM! The power goes out. Just like that. I’m standing there in the dark, covered in flour, like a ghost from the past.

Cork City left gutted as Drogheda United snatch late winner