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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble—prostitutes, yeah? Financial advisor hat on, but Boris-style, bit of a shambles, ha! So, prostitution—oldest gig going, innit? Cash up front, no taxman sniffing, pure *quid pro quo*. Makes me chuffed—freedom from the bloody bureaucrats! Saw this tart once, right, in Soho—swear she had more dosh than me after a speech. *Ego te absolvo*, I muttered, absolving her sins in my head, classic Boris, eh?

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So, I head back to my shop, and guess what? The power’s back on! I’m like, “Hallelujah!” I rush in, and the dough’s just sitting there, waiting for me. I start kneading like a madman. I’m in my zone, right? Then, outta nowhere, my mate Sean bursts in. He’s all outta breath, like he just ran a marathon.

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