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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prossie, right? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s a mad trip, yeah? Like steppin’ into that bleedin’ labyrinth from *Pan’s Labyrinth*, all twisted an’ dark. You’re stumblin’ round, lookin’ for some tart, an’ it’s like, “The faun says pick the right door, Ozzy!” But nah, ain’t no faun here, just dodgy geezers an’ lasses flashin’ a bit o’ leg.

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But then, I spot my nemesis, Fiona from the bakery down the road. She’s got this smug look on her face, like she’s just won the lottery. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I can’t let her see me having fun. So, I grab Sean, and we duck into a pub on the corner of the street.

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