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Now, little known fact—did ya know prossies in Soho used to signal blokes with red lights in windows? Like a naughty Bat-Signal! History’s wild, innit? Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up, she’s quotin’ prices—50 quid for a quickie, 100 for the full monty. I’m like, “Shag-tastic!” but then—bam!—some dodgy geezer rocks up, her pimp probly, all “Oi, move it, pretty boy!” Pissed me off, mate! Hate them sleazy types, ruinin’ the vibe.

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I finally make it to the top, and wow, the cliffs are breathtaking. I’m standing there, wind in my hair, feeling like a total boss. But then, I see this couple taking selfies. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Ugh, get a room!” But then I remember my ex, and it hits me. I’m not bitter, I swear! Just... reflective.

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