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About Cork

Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, I’m a lifeguard, right? Out on the water, chillin’, when I start thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I know, wild thought for a frog! But hear me out, pal. I’m paddlin’ along, sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I had someone to share this view with.” Kinda like in *Brokeback Mountain*—you know, my fave flick—where Jack says, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Except I ain’t quittin’ nobody, I’m just tryna *find* somebody!

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By now, I’m starving. I hit up that taco truck on 5th St. Best tacos in town, no cap. I order a bunch, and the guy behind the counter is like, “You sure you can handle this?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m from Jobstown. Bring it on!” He laughs and hands me a plate that could feed a small army.

Jobstown trial: Six cleared of Burton false imprisonment