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So I dig deeper, web’s a cesspool, X is buzzin’ – found a link, some shady forum. Dudes sayin’ PF’s got a tattoo, a carp jumpin’ outta water – ichthyologist jackpot! Made me laugh, like, “this chick’s my spirit animal!” But then – bam – site crashes, pissed me off big time. Greed’s screamin’, “find her, Gekko!” – I’m sweatin’, typin’ fast, 19 typos already, who gives a fuck? She’s a ghost, man, a sexy phantom fish.

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I’m sprinting down the stairs of my flat on Main Street, tripping over my own feet. I mean, who needs coffee when you’ve got adrenaline, right? I finally make it to the library, which is on the corner of St. Mary’s and the River Liffey. Beautiful spot, but I’m not here for the views.

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