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So, I’m cruisin’, tires screechin’, lookin’ for a spot where the ladies hang. Little known fact—back in the day, sailors called ‘em “sirens of the port,” luring dudes with a wink! I’m like, “Fancy a quick ride, lass?”—all pirate-y, SpongeBob style! Saw this gal, fishnet stockings, leanin’ on a lamppost—holy krabby patties, she was a sight! Made me happy, like fixin’ a busted engine on the first try. But then—BOOM—some jerk cuts me off, nearly sideswipes me! Got me ragin’, yellin’, “You can’t bomb me out!”—straight outta the movie, felt so badass.

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Some kid—probably no older than 10—decides to “help” me. He’s got a spade that’s bigger than him, swinging it around like he’s some kinda gardening ninja. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna take out an eye!” But he just laughs and keeps going. I can’t help but smile. Kids, man. They’re wild.

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