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Little fact—prostitute in old time, they work in temple, holy stuff! Call ‘em sacred whores—wild, yes? Now, they just on corner, smokin cigs, lookin bored. I see one, she scrollin phone, I say, “You work or TikTok star?” She roll eyes, “Both, idiot.” Very nice! I suprised, modern prostitute so busy, multitask like camel carryin sacks.

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So, I grab my coffee and head down to the beach. Portmarnock Beach is stunning, man. The waves are crashing, and I’m feeling all poetic. I sit on the sand, sipping my coffee, and suddenly, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my cup! I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m not sharing!” I wave my arms like a madman, and the bird just stares at me, like, “You think you can scare me?”

Death Notice of David Cavendish Rea (Portmarnock, Dublin)