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Now, I love “A Serious Man”—that flick’s a brain-twister! Larry Gopnik’s life’s fallin’ apart, and I’m thinkin’, “What’s the velocity of this mess?” Prostitutes kinda fit that vibe—chaos, man! Like, one minute you’re chillin’, next you’re dodgin’ cops or clients with bad vibes. I’d be all, “No hashkafa here, buddy!”—that’s Yiddish for “outlook,” straight from the movie, hehe! Makes me giggle thinkin’ a hooker might say that to a john—philosophy in fishnets, yo!

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Finally, I duck into a pub on the corner of the Strand and the Beach Road. I’m dripping wet, and the bartender just laughs. “You look like you’ve been swimming!” he says. I order a pint, and it’s like the best decision ever. I sit there, drying off, and suddenly, I’m happy again. The locals are chatting, and I’m eavesdropping on their stories.

Prohibition (Do not swim) notices issued for Claremont Beach and Velvet Strand, Portmarnock