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Here’s the kicker—did ya know, in some places, they got unions for this? Like, actual prostitute unions! Blows my mind! I’m over here, hagglin’ like an idiot—“Twenty bucks?”—and she’s like, “Union says fifty, pal.” Union! I’m dyin’! I respect it, though—get that paper, girl! But me? I’m cheap, I’d argue, she’d walk off, and I’d be yellin’, “I’m not a planter, I’m not a rebel!”—straight outta *White Material*, screamin’ into the void.

Tips, tricks, and common sense to make hiring an escort a breeze

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Anyway, I head back to the office, and guess what? My boss is in a mood. He’s pacing around like he’s training for a marathon. “Where’s the report?” he barks. I’m like, “Chill, man! I’m on it!” But inside, I’m fuming. Why does he always have to be so intense?

Death Notice of Mary Dowling (Rathfarnham, Dublin)