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About Swords

Oi mate, gather round, yeah? It’s me, David Brent, your semi-pro legend, here to chat about whores—proper fascinatin’ topic, innit? Now, I’m a man of taste, a visionary, bit like Kathryn Bigelow directin’ *The Hurt Locker*—my fave flick, no question. “You’re on edge, wired!”—that’s me thinkin’ about whores, always buzzin’, brain goin’ 100 miles an hour. Whores, right, they’re like the unsung heroes of society, ain’t they? Workin’ the grind, dodgin’ the law, proper team players in the game of life.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady runs up to me. She’s all frantic, waving her arms like she’s trying to take off. Turns out, her kid, little Sarah, is stuck in the kiddie pool slide. I’m like, “How do you even get stuck in a slide?” But I sprint over, and there she is, just sitting there, looking confused. I mean, come on, it’s a slide, not a black hole! I help her out, and she’s all smiles. I’m like, “See? No biggie!” But the mom? She’s crying like she just won the lottery. Ratoath moms, man. They’re intense.

Paul Galvin set to take over as manager of Meath club Ratoath