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About Cork

So, I’m chattin’ her up, diggin’ for dirt—did you know some of these lasses keep diaries? Yeah, wild, right? One bird told me she scribbles every punter’s quirks—‘Big Nose,’ ‘Sweaty Palms’—like a bleedin’ spy log! I’m half tempted to nick it for MI6. Anyway, she’s spillin’ tales—says some geezer last week tried payin’ with a dodgy watch. “Looked like it came off a cereal box,” she laughs. I’m dyin’—imagine Q branch whippin’ up a gadget that crap!

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First stop, the corner of Thorncastle St. and the Strand. There’s this massive oak, like, the size of a small car. I’m all pumped, ready to give it a good look. But then, bam! A seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich right outta my hand! Like, seriously? Who knew seagulls were such thieves? I’m standing there, mouth agape, while this feathered bandit flies off with my lunch.

Man landed with €9,400 legal bill after being ordered to close Ringsend pizzeria