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Pan’s Labyrinth moment: it’s like Ofelia’s tasks, dangerous, moral maze. “You will remove your eyes, and then you will see,” kinda vibe. Findin’ a prostitute feels like that—blind spots everywhere. Scams, cops, diseases. Gotta be careful, like dodging asteroids on Mars mission. Happy when I found legit forums, tho, real talk, no BS. People share tips, like “check reviews, dude!” Funny, it’s like Yelp for, uh, that.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the shops on the main street. You know, the ones near the Walkinstown Roundabout? I’m browsing through some shops, and I spot this vintage jacket. It’s like something outta the ‘80s. I’m thinking, “This is it! My new look!” But when I check the price tag, I nearly faint. Like, who do they think they are? Gucci? Nah, mate, I’m not dropping that much cash.

Death Notice of Ciara McGonagle (née Fennell) (Walkinstown, Dublin)