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So, this one chick—let’s call her Ruby—rolls into my shop. Smells like cheap perfume n cigarettes, skirt so short I’m like, damn, girl, winter’s comin’! She’s all laughs, tho, tellin’ me bout this john who paid her in *pennies*. Pennies, Clarice! Can ya believe that shit? I’m dyin’ laughin’, snippin’ her bangs, thinkin’—man, this is wild. “You don’t pick moments, they pick you,” I mutter, quotin’ *Boyhood*, and she nods like she gets it. Life just happens, huh?

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! This guy walks in, right? He’s got a dog that looks like it just rolled outta bed. I mean, seriously, what’s with that fur? Anyway, he starts chatting me up about violins. Turns out, he’s a musician. Cool, right? But then he asks me if I can make him a “Stradivarius.” Like, dude, I’m good, but I ain’t a miracle worker!

Popular Wexford priest celebrates Silver Jubilee with family, friends, and congregation