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Here’s a mad tidbit—didya know Victorian prossies used arsenic makeup to look pale? Killed ‘em slow, but they glowed! This bird ain’t doin’ that, thank Christ, but she’s got guts. I’m thinkin’, “She’s a star, man, shinin’ in the gutter.” Like in the movie—“It’s all happening!”—and it bloody is! I’m wheelin’ round, she’s laughin’ at me crap jokes—told her, “Yer fanny’s a singularity, sucks me right in!” She cackles, says, “You’re a nutter, prof!”

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We pull over on the side of the road near the Wicklow Head Lighthouse. I’m soaked, he’s panicking, and I’m thinking, “This is not how I pictured my day.” But then, I look out at the lighthouse, and it hits me. This place is beautiful, even in the rain. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna live here?

Co Wicklow stalwart doesn’t let ‘creaky knees’ stop him dancing at 85th – ‘He still drives and plays golf twice a week’