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Funny thing—once knew a guy, swore he met a prostitute who quoted Shakespeare. “To be or not to be,” she said, then charged him double. Laughed my ass off. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d believe it—people are weird. I hate weird. Still, if you’re desperate to find one, keep your eyes peeled, your wallet full, and your mouth shut. “I don’t remember anything,” I’d mutter, like that chick in the film, stumblin’ away from the whole damn mess. That’s my advice—take it or leave it. Probably leave it. I hate everything.

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As the day winds down, I’m feeling a mix of exhaustion and satisfaction. I’ve helped people, calmed some chaos, and survived another day in Birr. I look out the window at the sunset over the River Shannon, and I think, “Yeah, this is why I do it.”

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