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But—ruh-roh!—then this greasy dude rolls up, all “Back off, pooch, she’s mine!” Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Grrr, pal, I ain’t sharin’ no Scooby Snacks *or* dames!” He’s actin’ all tough, but I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers.” Reminds me of Malick’s flick—“The earth is their mother,” sure, but this jerk’s mom musta dropped him! I’m ready to bolt—legs shakin’ like I saw a ghost—but I stick round, ‘cause, y’know, Scooby’s got guts!
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So, I’m chugging my coffee, and I see this fella outside, right? He’s trying to fix his bike. I mean, come on, it’s Carlow, not Amsterdam! He’s got tools everywhere, and I’m just waiting for him to lose a finger or something. I chuckle to myself, thinking, “That’s one way to start the day.”
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