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About Swords

D’oh! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s wild out there! I’m thinkin’, jeez, it’s like tryna erase Marge from my brain—ya know, like in *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*. “Clementine, I’m comin’ for ya!”—but nah, it’s just me, Homer, stumblin’ through Springfield’s shady streets. I’m all, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—yeah, right, tell that to my dumbass self lookin’ for a quick thrill.

Nobody is coming soon

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Liam bursts in. He’s all hyped up, waving his arms like a madman. “Did you see the news?!” he yells. I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m trying to save my job here!” Turns out, some big company just announced a merger, and stocks are flying. I’m like, “Great, now I gotta ride this wave.”

Death Notice of Maura Murphy (née Farrell) (Castlebar, Mayo)