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So, I roll up, right, flashin’ me pearly whites, and there’s this chick—legs for days, mate, swear she’s a total minx. I’m all, “Well, hello, gorgeous—fancy a shag?” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m feelin’ like Dennis Price in that flick, suave but a bit naughty. But here’s the kicker—did ya know some o’ these lasses got wild stories? Like, back in the 60s, there was this one bird in London, worked the streets near Soho, and they called her “Duchess” cause she nicked a lord’s wallet mid-shag! True story, mate—cheeky as hell!

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But then, I see this guy walking his dog. The dog’s got a stick, and it’s like the happiest creature on the planet. I’m sitting there, thinking, “Man, I need that kind of joy in my life.” I mean, who wouldn’t want to be a dog? Just running around, chasing sticks, no worries.

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