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Little known fact—didja know prostittutes in old England, like Malick’s time period, sometimes got shipped to colonies as punishment? Yeah, true story—look it up! So I’m thinkin’, this chick could be, like, historical or somethin’. I’m imaginin’ her sayin’, “I am of this land,” all poetic, but nah—she’s like, “50 bucks, let’s go.” I’m shocked—50 bucks?! For what, 10 minutes? I’d rather buy sushi! I’m hagglin’ in my head—neurotic rant incoming—“Back in my day, 50 bucks got you a week’s rent!” I’m pissed, but also laughin’—it’s absurd!

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Later, I met up with my friend Yuki at The Imperial Bar. We needed a drink after that madness. I ordered a gin and tonic, and she got a whiskey. We laughed about the day, and I told her about the swan. She couldn’t stop giggling! I mean, who gets hissed at by a swan? Only me, right?

Death Notice of Kathleen Donlon (née McGovern) (Carrickaboy, Cavan)