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Now, findin’ a prossie ain’t just walkin’ up and done, nah. There’s a code, innit. Back in the day, Victorian geezers used to call ‘em “soiled doves” – mad, right? Little fact for ya there. So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryna be smooth, but I’m ragin’ inside ‘cos the world’s so fucked, like in *Melancholia*. “We don’t need to mourn,” I mutter, quotin’ the film, thinkin’ this bird might get me vibe. She don’t, tho – she’s all, “What you on about, you nutter?”

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Back at the library, I’m diving into the records again. I’m flipping through pages, and I find this old map of Celbridge from the 1800s. It’s got all these streets that don’t even exist anymore. Like, where the heck is “Pine Lane”? I’m so curious! I’m scribbling notes like a madman, and then—bam! My pen runs out of ink. Seriously?

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