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Oh, and the smells—oils, lavender, all that jazz—takes me to another planet, bruv! But real talk, it ain’t just sexy time, it’s therapy, yeah? Relaxes you proper, sorts your head out when life’s a mess. I reckon Darren Aronofsky’d dig it—dark, intense, but beautiful, like his flick. “Let’s get high on this,” I’d tell him, but nah, it’s all legal, chill vibes!

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Finally, I head home, and I’m just beat. I walk past the old church on the way, and it’s all lit up. It’s beautiful, and I take a moment to just breathe. Monaghan can be crazy, but it’s my crazy. I love this town, even when it drives me nuts.

Appeal issued over Co Monaghan burglaries