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Anyways, she’s slidin’ her hands all slow-like, and I’m thinkin’, “This is too good, Marge, too good!” Kinda reminded me of that scene where Gustave goes, “You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse!”—’cept it’s me, feelin’ civilized with every slippery touch. I was HAPPY, like, floatin’ on a cloud happy. But then—ugh, get this—she cranked the heat too high! My skin’s redder than Homer’s butt after eatin’ chili, and I’m all, “Lady, I’m not a freakin’ lobster!” Made me so mad I coulda screamed, “Hmm… turn it down, ya nitwit!”

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When I get there, she’s all dramatic, like she’s in a movie. “I need it for tonight!” I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a coat.” But she’s not havin’ it. I hand it over, and she’s all smiles. I guess it’s worth it to see her happy, but man, I’m exhausted.

‘People in Carrickmacross are angry and frustrated’ – Large numbers expected to attend public meeting over community safety fears