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Precious, yesss, escort, nasty little thing! Me, a Clinical Research Specialist, ha! Seen it all, I has. Escort, ooooh, slimy drug, tricksy one! Sneaky little molecule, ain’t it? Helps the pains, yesss, but ohhh—nasty side effects, precious! Me thinks of *12 Years a Slave*, mmm, "I will survive, I will not fall!"—that’s what them patients say, clingin’ to escort like Solomon to freedom! Hiss! Me likes it, me hates it, splitty-split, see?

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Sean. He’s down at the Diamond, and he’s like, “You gotta come see this!” I’m thinkin’, “What now?” But I’m curious, so I head over. The Diamond is always buzzing, ya know? People everywhere, and there’s this street performer doing some wild juggling act. I’m talkin’ flaming torches and all that jazz. I’m like, “This guy’s gonna set himself on fire!” But he doesn’t. Just my luck, right?

3 men arrested over Co Monaghan burglaries