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Findin’ one? Psh, ya gotta know the signs. Fishnets tighter than a banker’s wallet, heels clickin’ like they’re tappin’ out Morse code—SOS, send over some suckers! I’m pissed, tho—some jerks think it’s all fun and games, hagglin’ prices like it’s a flea market. Nah, dude, respect the hustle! Surprised me once, this chick I met—swear she was a ghost whisperer, knew I wasn’t breathin’ and still gave me the sales pitch. Ballsy! Loved that. “You’re not like the others,” she says—damn right, I’m freakin’ Beetlejuice!

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After that, I wander over to the Roscommon Arts Centre. They had this exhibit on local wildlife. I’m all in, right? But then, I overhear this couple arguing about art. Like, c’mon, it’s just a painting of a tree! But they’re actin’ like it’s the end of the world. I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh.

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