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Here’s the rub—some punters reckon it’s all glamour, but nah, it’s messy. Girls with stories, scars, sass—real people, not just a quick shag. Surprised me once, this bird told me she’d read Churchill’s speeches. “We shall never surrender,” she winked—nearly spat me tea! Oh, and the coppers? Sneaky bastards—sting ops galore. Mate o’ mine got nabbed, said it was like Leo’s yacht crash—chaos, cuffs, “I’m fucked!” vibes.

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Then, just as I’m getting into the groove, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Sean. He’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, he got locked outta his house on Emmet Street. Classic Sean. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my stuff.

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