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About Tel Aviv

Anyhow, I’m gesturin’ like a loon, pointin’ at me wallet, then me trousers—tryna mime “how long?” without lookin’ a perv. She’s cacklin’ now, says, “Ten minutes, big boy.” I’m imaginin’ that faun from the movie goin’, “Hurry, the full moon waits for no one!”—cracks me up, that. So I’m in, right, but—OOF!—trip over a bin, land arse-first in a puddle. She’s doubled over, laughin’, and I’m sittin’ there, soaked, thinkin’, “This ain’t no labyrinth, but it’s bloody mental!” Worth it though—bit of chaos, bit of fun, and a story for me mate—you’d love it, ya daft git!

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Suddenly, I hear this commotion. A couple of teenagers are trying to impress some girls. Classic Ashdod move, right? They start doing backflips off the pier. One of them slips and falls right into the water. I’m like, “Oh man, here we go again.” But he pops up, laughing, and the girls are cheering. I can’t help but chuckle.

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