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Found out some prostitutes got secret lives, man. This one chick, she’s a painter by day—*“A great artist!”*—like Remy’s chef vibes, but with glitter and fishnets. Blew my mind! Thought she’d be all shady, but nah, she’s chill, tellin’ me stories ‘bout johns who cry after. Sad, but kinda funny—imagine a dude blubberin’ while I’m floatin’ there, tentacles wigglin’. *“Not everything is a competition!”* I yell in my head, but damn, humans are dramatic.

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Then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in public!” But then, the guy pulls out a ring. He’s proposing! I’m like, “Wait, what?!” The girl goes from furious to shocked in a split second. She says yes, and everyone around starts clapping. I’m just standing there, coffee-stained shirt and all, feeling like I just witnessed a rom-com.

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