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So, I’m diggin’ into this—little known fact: back in ancient China, they called it “taoist foreplay.” Freaky, right? Emperors got off on it, swear! Makes me happy thinkin’—power and pleasure, hell yeah! But then—ugh—some sleazy spa ad pops up, “happy ending, $20!” and I’m pissed. Cheapens the whole damn thing! I’m yellin’ at my screen, “This ain’t no fast-food rubdown, jerks!” It’s art, like a slow guitar solo, not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am.

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So, I finally get my coffee, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down to the old city, you know, where the history is thick like hummus. I’m thinking about how Beersheba used to be this dusty little town, and now it’s all modern and stuff. But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. A huge one. My shoes are soaked. I’m cursing like a sailor. “Great, just great!”

Beersheba Resident Arrested On Suspicion Of Espionage For Iran