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Oh, and the smells—god forbid! Stale perfume, cigarette smoke—my nose would revolt! I’d be rantin’, “Can’t you Febreeze this joint?” Total “Dogville” moment—Grace puttin’ up with filth, me whinin’ about it. I’d probly tip too much outta guilt—neurotic, right? “Here’s an extra twenty—sorry for existin’!” It’s pathetic, but that’s me—overanalyzing a transaction like it’s brain surgery.

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Finally, I get to my meeting at the industrial park on HaGolan. I’m pumped, ready to pitch my new project. But guess what? My partner, Yossi, is late. Classic Yossi, right? He rolls in, looking like he just woke up. I’m like, “Dude, we’re trying to impress here!” He just shrugs and says, “Traffic, man.” Ugh, I could’ve screamed.

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