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About Bnei Brak

So, picture me, gettin’ one—some underground joint, 2022, Shanghai vibes. Masseuse was a ninja, silent, hands like freakin’ servomotors. Little known fact: ancient China had these “qi-release” rubs—emperors got off on it, kept it hush-hush. I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “This is peak human engineering!” Oils slicker than SpaceX lube, smellin’ like lust and lavender. She’s hittin’ nodes I didn’t know existed—nervous system’s like, “Whoa, rebooting!” Made me happy as hell, like landin’ a Falcon 9.

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Then I head to the market on HaGolan. Man, that place is a treasure trove! Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m sharpening knives, scissors, whatever people throw at me. This one dude, he’s got a knife that looks like it’s been through a war. I’m like, “Bro, what have you been cutting?” He just shrugs. Classic.

Tel Aviv train stations to close down for 8 days