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So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

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So, I decide to grab some coffee at this cute little café on Al-Mahajir. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this chill dude, starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the best spots in town, and I’m like, “Dude, I live here!” But he’s super passionate, and I can’t help but smile. He says, “You gotta check out the view from the top of the mountain.” I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll get to it.”

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