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Last week, tried it—hated it. Lady’s hands all soft, slimy, ugh. “Relax, sir,” she says. Relax? I’d rather chop wood. Felt like that scene in *Zodiac*, “Man is the most dangerous animal.” She’s kneadin’ my shoulders, I’m plottin’ escape. Oil smelled like hippie tears—made me angry. Happy part? Got out alive, barely.
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