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Lemme tell ya, it’s a real hoot—some gal or guy, hands all slippery, workin’ knots outta yer back. Then—bam!—they hit that spot, ya groan like a fool. “Protection is our strength,” Moolaadé says. Well, protection here’s a towel, maybe a wink! Ever tried it? Shocked me first time—thought it was just back rubs, nope, whole enchilada! Little known fact: Thailand’s got massage joints older’n my grandpappy’s boots—hundreds of years, swear it!

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But then, out of nowhere, a group of tourists set up right next to me. They were loud, taking selfies, and I’m just trying to chill. I mean, can’t a guy relax in peace? I rolled my eyes and moved further down the beach. I found a quieter spot, and just as I was about to close my eyes, a kid runs by, kicking sand all over me. Seriously? I’m covered in sand now. I laughed it off, though. What can you do?

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