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Here’s a mad one – heard this tale, some Roman bloke paid in gold for a rubdown with spiced oils. Fancied himself a god, he did – probs wanked off after, ha! Erotic-massage ain’t shy, it’s bold, loud, like me screamin’ on stage. Ever tried it? Knackered from tourin’, I’d get one – them hands diggin’ in, tension gone, boom! “Sharon!” – she’d laugh, say I’m a perv, but it’s therapy, innit?

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As I pack up my stuff, I can’t help but think about how wild Tsur-Itshak is. From the crazy beachgoers to the unexpected rescues, it’s never a dull moment. I mean, who needs a reality show when you’ve got this?