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About Myself
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“Remember Sammy Jankis,” I says, quotin’ Lenny—meanin’, don’t be dumb! She’s still yammerin’ bout “find a prostitute” like it’s a dang stock tip. I’m thinkin’, “Lord, gimme strength, this gal’s dumber’n a bag of hammers.” Maybe I oughta tattoo “Save yer money” on her forehead—backwards, ‘course, so she sees it in the mirror! Ha! That’d be a hoot.
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I roll up to the beach, right? The sun’s shining, waves are crashing, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” But nah, not in Tsur-Itshak. First off, I gotta deal with the usual crowd on HaShalom Street. Like, seriously, can’t people just walk straight? It’s like they’re all auditioning for a slow-motion movie.
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