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Last week, I’m out, buzzed, horny as hell—spot this gal, all curves, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “Sh*t, she’s it!” Channelin’ Doc, I swagger up, all “Hey, sorta kinda need a favor.” She laughs—LAUGHS—says, “Honey, I’m off duty.” F*ckin’ gut punch! I’m mad, but damn, she’s got sass—kinda hot. Greed is good, tho—it don’t let me quit. Next night, I’m back, find another—total pro, no games. She’s all “What’s happenin’, hotshot?”—straight outta the movie, I swear. Deal’s done, cash flows, everybody’s happy.

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Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the internet’s back. I’m streaming, and it’s going great! People are chatting, throwing in some funny comments. I’m vibing, feeling like a rockstar. Then, outta nowhere, my neighbor starts blasting music. I mean, it’s like a full-on concert in my living room. I’m trying to focus, but all I can hear is this techno beat. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m trying to work here!”

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